Viewed from afar prefabs have a solitary grandeur, especially at twilight time when the dogs begin to bark. Not that prefabs are natural loners. Like buffalos they prefer to hang together in herds. This gives a sense of defensive security against a predatory and at times condescending world. Although their sharp-edged pristine form has put them squarely (or rectangularly) in the forefront of architectural innovation, prefabs have a structural flaw, an Achilles' heel, which fresh licks of paint cannot disguise. Their roofs and walls are far too thin-skinned. This leaves them too
hot in the summer and too cold in the winter (as our goldfish, frozen solid in its bowl last December, would tell you if it could).
"Their prefab abode in the Royal Crescent was being re-decorated." Such a sentence could only be found in Mad magazine. No work of English literature has ever made mention of a prefab, and no prefab has ever been given a Royal Crescent address. Great care is taken to ensure that words are finely calibrated to fit in with designated housing status. Officials in the Guildhall who are assigned the delicate task of The Naming Of Names do not dole out any old address to any old Tom, Dick or prefab Harry. Words are finely calibrated with designated housing status. Houses with gravel paths and high hedges are not often to be found in Depot Road. Show me a row of prefabs in Cheyney Mews and I will show you a prefab coalhouse with a gold and diamond studded coat of arms! Print too much money and you devalue the currency. Give one prefab estate a Royal Crescent and they will all want one.
Our own prefabs are in roads which give no hint of pre-fabrication: 'Newtin' and 'Woodhedge' are chirpy, upbeat names. But in Twiverton we are usually referred to as 'The Prefabs'. The slick salesman in the immaculate corner prefab takes this as a complement. "Just as one has 'The British Empire', 'The Royal Navy', 'The Reform Club' and 'The Establishment', so one has The Prefabs'".
A few minutes away from our estate and comouflaged behind a cluster of trees is Meadepool House. This is a residential home for ladies who are unable to speak and unable to hear. Tag along with Ronnie Rogers' mum (she has a cleaning job there) and you will be led into a large room with a high ceiling where all the residents of Meadepool House are sat down in a circle of chairs. Most of them knit away, some just stare up at the high ceiling. Every now and again one of the ladies can stand it no longer and will race outside in a flood of tears. They could do with some new company and different things to do. The Naming Of Names officials in the Guildhall should rename it something like Come In And Cheer Us Up.